27th January 2005.
A day not to be forgotten.
Awaken by a phone call at 8am. Mum called.
She said Ah ma had passed away....
*stunned*

I bathed quickly and took a cab down. I reached there at 9am.
Her heart was actually still beating at 8plus.
She had her last breath at 850am.
I was 10 minutes late.

5 days went by in a daze.
It seemed long, but yet fast.
Long during the 5 days but now that it's over, it seemed fast.

I finally cried my heart out today.
The thought of losing her forever simply wrenches my heart.
No one to call me anymore.
No one to praise me anymore.
I regret, times that I was there, I simply can't make extra effort to talk to her more.
I didn't spent more than 5 minutes talking to her, though I can be there for 2 hours.
What was I doing? :~~(

Thank God that everything went by rather smoothly.
No big arguements or conflicts in these 5 days. And I pray that there won't be any in time to come.
Money is always the cause of conflicts.
And I pray that it won't happen in our family.
Its so big!!
If anything were to happen, the family would be gone.
4 Brothers and 6 Sisters.
21 cousins.

I can't believe it.
God I pray, that you'll continue to bring peace and hope to my family.
Ah Ma had everything really well planned.
Had it happen 2 weeks later, I would have problems attending SOT and juggling between work and SOT.
I would not have been able to survive it all.
Thank God for that too.

Thank God also for the friends that came. 38 of them.
From primary to secondary to JC to NUS to work to Cell group too.
Indeed, its through times like this that you know who really is your friend.
People who gives you excuses, people who make empty promises.
I've seen it all during these 5 days.
But I shan't dwell on it.
I'm thankful enough for the ones that were there to support me and help me.
I really appreciate them.

Thank God for people around me.

Its time to sleep. Gotta get up rater early tomorrow to collect Ah Ma's ashes from Mandai.

ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz.........

Lord, I pray that you'll be with me and give me strength to carry on...


-RacheL- blogged @ 1/31/2005 08:43:00 PM