27th January 2005.
A day not to be forgotten.
Awaken by a phone call at 8am. Mum called.
She said Ah ma had passed away....
*stunned*

I bathed quickly and took a cab down. I reached there at 9am.
Her heart was actually still beating at 8plus.
She had her last breath at 850am.
I was 10 minutes late.

5 days went by in a daze.
It seemed long, but yet fast.
Long during the 5 days but now that it's over, it seemed fast.

I finally cried my heart out today.
The thought of losing her forever simply wrenches my heart.
No one to call me anymore.
No one to praise me anymore.
I regret, times that I was there, I simply can't make extra effort to talk to her more.
I didn't spent more than 5 minutes talking to her, though I can be there for 2 hours.
What was I doing? :~~(

Thank God that everything went by rather smoothly.
No big arguements or conflicts in these 5 days. And I pray that there won't be any in time to come.
Money is always the cause of conflicts.
And I pray that it won't happen in our family.
Its so big!!
If anything were to happen, the family would be gone.
4 Brothers and 6 Sisters.
21 cousins.

I can't believe it.
God I pray, that you'll continue to bring peace and hope to my family.
Ah Ma had everything really well planned.
Had it happen 2 weeks later, I would have problems attending SOT and juggling between work and SOT.
I would not have been able to survive it all.
Thank God for that too.

Thank God also for the friends that came. 38 of them.
From primary to secondary to JC to NUS to work to Cell group too.
Indeed, its through times like this that you know who really is your friend.
People who gives you excuses, people who make empty promises.
I've seen it all during these 5 days.
But I shan't dwell on it.
I'm thankful enough for the ones that were there to support me and help me.
I really appreciate them.

Thank God for people around me.

Its time to sleep. Gotta get up rater early tomorrow to collect Ah Ma's ashes from Mandai.

ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz.........

Lord, I pray that you'll be with me and give me strength to carry on...


-RacheL- blogged @ 1/31/2005 08:43:00 PM

Again, I received my credit bills. Haha..
Been waiting for it, and wondering when it'll arrive.
Not that it did, I'm not too excited about it either. haha.
Coz its time to clear it. And thousands going out again.
Sigh..
So far so good. Still managing it pretty well. And I don't want to incur extra expenses which is not accounted for, or not worth it.

Signed $150 for hair services again. The girl asked if I wanna top up more.
No thanks. I'll do it the next time I visit them again.
Accompany Shuying to color her hair, and since I've nothin better to do, I did scalp treatment myself.
Another half day gone at My Hub.
Haha. I never fail to stay less than 4 hours at that place.
Sigh.. there seems to be some magnetic field that keeps me there.
haha.. Oh well.. woman.. vain.. hahaha... :/

So, yet to receive my hp bill from Starhub. And yeah, no more M1 bills to handle. Fulfilled my 2 years contract and off the line! :P
So i'll just have to concentrate on my Starhub bill, which amounts to about $30++ each month. Cool eh? With my kind of work I can still maintain this kind of hp bills. Hahaha.. Guess many others arent as good in this area. Well.. what to do?
I'm a financial adviser leh.. Ought to be good at it! haha..

Mobile companies will definitely go bankrupt if everyone else calculates their bills as meticulous as me. Hahaha.. ;D

Okie.. one hour of QT is my resolution this year. Not easy to accomplish.
But its not impossible as well. Cool! And I have to get going.

More bills to clear.. and I want a car!
Lord, I pray,
that You'll give me a car.
I know not how, I know not when.
I only know I need a car,
And You only I will trust,
To provide me with one.
In Jesus's Name,
Lord, I pray,
Amen.
Amen


-RacheL- blogged @ 1/25/2005 11:30:00 PM

You Are a Visionary Soul

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness. Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connect to your soul. You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable. Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings. You have great vision and can be very insightful. In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself. Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend. You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer. Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

-RacheL- blogged @ 1/24/2005 10:03:00 PM

Hallelujah!!!

I was given the Acceptance Letter to Bible School on Friday. It was so exciting!! :)

I can't say that I was surprised, but a confirmation is indeed heart-warming. :)

Well, an exciting year lies ahead for me.
Time management is very crucial here.
Work, SOT and Church and Cell-group.
MMm... Good test to pass!! Hee.. :p

Now everything seems to be more confirmed.
And I know where I'm heading towards.
So the next move is to tell SL that I'll be going to Bible School.
MMmmmmm..... I hope she don't get too disappointed or discouraging. :/

I know she wanted me to do very well this year. And I believe I can still do it with God's grace. :)

Lord, I pray that You'll be with me everyday and Your anointing be upon me.
Amen.

-RacheL- blogged @ 1/23/2005 10:43:00 PM

Hee...
Nice badminton session with my Primary school classmates!
Its much nicer than playing with my fellow advisers!
Haha... There were much more co-ordination and it was just more fun.

Though it was just a short 1 hour, I think we all enjoyed ourselves. Heh.. :p
Having another session next week. This time for 2 hours.
730pm-930pm. Its gonna be fun! Hee..
Today was a little too short as its only one hour. Haha. But it was really enjoyable.
A time of catching up too.
They'll ask one another what they are doing now and etc.

Yongsheng is doing contract teaching. Shengwei is studying in NTU!
Peiwen is working for 2 years now. And Xiaohui recently changed job! Hahahah..
I'm still in Prudential. And don't think that'll ever change. Unless God has something else in store for me?? hehe.. :p

We were talking about how we've graduated for 12 years now!
Thats a long long time. And to know that we are still in contact is just a wonderful feeling! Hee.. And thanks to me!!! Hahaha.. I was the one who held almost annual gatherings since sec 1. Hahaha...
Nice nice.. To know that we've known each other for at least 15 years..
Now, this really makes me feel old. But its really nice loh..
To be in the company of people you are so familiar with.
Though it might seem a little funny at the beginnings, things always will fall into place.. :)

Cheers to friendship!! :)

Gonna have another session with my advisers this sat at Clementi...
Sooo far... And I'm not serving this weekend!
Sigh.. Should have booked Yishun! hahaha..

MMmmmm.... Feeling good. And feels healthy once again..
Though I'm still sick... But God'll take it away soon, I believe!
Hallelujah! :)


-RacheL- blogged @ 1/19/2005 11:37:00 PM

Not sure if I've done this before.. maybe..somewhere... sometime ago...
haha...
Things does change along the way though.. so here's who I am now.. heh.. :)

you are yellow #FFFF00

Your dominant hues are red and green, so you're definately not afraid to get in and stir things up. You have no time for most people's concerns, you'd rather analyze with your head than be held back by some random "gut feeling". Your saturation level is very high - you are all about getting things done. The world may think you work too hard but you have a lot to show for it, and it keeps you going. You shouldn't be afraid to lead people, because if you're doing it, it'll be done right. Your outlook on life is very bright. You are sunny and optimistic about life and others find it very encouraging, but remember to tone it down if you sense irritation.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

-RacheL- blogged @ 1/19/2005 11:34:00 PM

Yes... Visited the Sinseh yesterday afternoon with Mum.
It was a rather long day I would say.

To start it off, I vacuumed and mop the floors,as usual.
Then we went for mum's lunch and my brunch. Haha.
Head off to SGH to visit an auntie. She had diabetes for years and had an eye blinded due to lasic or something like that. The other eye had diabetic eye disease and hence she can't really see as well.
And now, as if things weren't bad enough, she had kidney problems.
And has to go through dialysis.
Heard she has been at CGH for a month plus. Just shifted to SGH.
Gosh...
The only consolation would probably be that in times like these, she had received salvation. And her 15 year old son.
Praise God. She can only listen to CDs and sermons now as she can't even read the Bible. Poor thing.
It just reflects how vulnerable life really can get. I can remember her in my mind years back when she was still well and fine.
Always the rather nice auntie around. Unlike some others who are always scheming and what-nots.
Sigh.. The only thing I can do for her is to pray for her and to ask God to release her from her suffering.

Then we made our way to AMK for MY treatment. It was no.3 when we arrived. And I was no. 7. So mum suggested we go for a drink and she had our favourite dumpling hor fun at the hawker. Favourites since young. Those were the days when we would frequent the market. Haha. Been almost 16years since I shifted from AMK.
I wanted lime juice. Had thought that I might take anything first since I'm seeking treatment in a few minutes! Haha.
But I was too kia-si. Settled for a barley instead.
Mum said its worse. Phlem-causing!
Oh-oh.. I didn't know that! Heh. :p

So.. headed back to the medicinal hall.
The receptionist told me my turn next.
So we went in.
He took my pulse. Left and right hand. Asked some questions.
Gave his diagnosis. Its a cold cough.
Just like what my previous western doctor said.
But his diet is more strict. Much, much more!
The list goes:
NO:- Chicken
- Egg
- Cakes
- Sweets
- Fruits
- Chocolates
- Peanuts
- BARLEY!!!
and anything cold and sweet....
*opps* I just had Barley. You can imagine the grin on mum and my face.. hahahah...
The lime juice would have been better!

So, supposed to go back to see him next week. I was given 4 days dosage.
To be taken 4 times per day. *faintz*
If I have the time, maybe I'll go see him during the week.
Else, it'll be next Saturday.

And there goes $25! Sob sob..

Then we went to Grandma's place. Reached there at about 4plus. Stayed till about 6plus and I went off to meet Huiling.

Had Cafe Cartel for dinner. Yes. I did it again!
St. Louis Ribs! Hahahaha...
I'll never get sick of it..
Talked till about 9pm with HL. Shopped around.
And ended off with a drink at Mac.
Had Hot Milo. Pathetic. Left at almost 11pm..
Good chat. Should catch up more often.. hehe..

And what happened to my diet? I was wondering..
Put on 2kg recently. Or maybe my weighing machine was spoilt! :p

Alright. Better watch what I'm eating starting tomorrow. No more Yong Tau Foo also..
Too many beans related stuffs.. Urgh...
I better turn vegetarian for 2 weeks before Chinese New Year.
Else, no nice clothings... and no nice food to eat!!!!!!!!
Sigh.......

Well, on a more happier note, can't wait to discuss an important issue with Siew Lian tomorrow! SOoooooooooo exciting!!!!! Hehehehhe...... :)


-RacheL- blogged @ 1/16/2005 09:51:00 PM

Urgh...
I wonder when would my cough get better.
And it seems to get worse everyday!
When I finished my last dosage of medicine, I thought I'm getting better.
But, NO!

Urgh................
this is so irritating. I can't eat what I like.
And the worst thing, I can't drink any cold drinks, or take any ice cream!
And Chinese New Year is coming!
I wanna eat good food!
Urgh... irritating! :/

I pray that I'll get well in another few days and that I can really enjoy my buffet treat at Royal Plaza Hotel with Sayang and Nani.

Sob sob.. :~(
This is soo..torturing... I just can't stand it anymore.
Coughing every few minutes..
I wonder what is it that I've eaten that was making it worse.
Can't ask me to stop eating right?
MMmmmmmm.... torturing....

No CG today.
Coz its a break that we get to enjoy every beginning of the new year, having worked so hard for Christmas.
Heh.

MMmmm... feeling super tired.
Attended a wedding dinner last night.
And had a Flying Start 2005 at Suntec.
Rather good breakfast buffet...
And expensive wedding dinner.
Hahaha....
And lotsa good food...

Oh gosh.... Thank God the buffet with Sayang was postponed...
I wonder why she says its a blessing in disguise... MMmm...
And so.. another super sweet wedding..
How nice.... :)

The bride and groom is just so meant for each other!
So loving and nice.
Can't stand it.....
When will it be mine?? hahahhaha.....

Okie... I'm crazy... and I'm hungry...
I'm not exactly hungry.. but I just wan to munch something.
This is bad........


-RacheL- blogged @ 1/14/2005 09:31:00 PM

Had a good time in church today!
Praise and worship was good.
Sermon was good.
It could have been better though.
Amber didn't come.

She didn't pick up nor reply Lilian and my calls/sms since yesterday.
We thought she could have left her hp in her car or something.
But she didn't even call or reply the WHOLE day!
Something's wrong.
And I'm feeling sad.
Something which you've put effort into, gone missing.

I hope we didn't scare her off. I think too much happened in these 2 weeks.
First I met her. Then I met her again.
Then she came to church last week.
Then we met up for movie on Fri.
Then she went MIA on Sat.

Emily said she could just been thinking.
About what's been happening lately.
That so many people is concerned about her suddenly.
She needed to sort things out.
I hope so.

I pray that God'll open her heart to receive this genuine friendship that we are extending to her.
And she'll not coop herself up.
I pray that God'll not close this door that He had left so wide open.
Amber please reply or call me....
I'm worried about you....

God.... I commit Amber into your hands,
And I pray that You'll keep watch over her.
Let her take the initiative to reply me.
We don't wanna be too irritating or pushy on her.
We'll give her time.

Amen....

On a happy note, attended Kelun & Wendy's Holy Matrimony in the afternoon.
About 80 guests were present.
How nice.
Each time I attend a wedding, I wonder when'll be mine? :/
Soon to come, I know. Soon..
Wendy really looked very pretty. Been some time since I last saw her after they changed CG. Good for them. Happy Family! :)
When will it be my turn??

-RacheL- blogged @ 1/09/2005 11:35:00 PM

Yes.. The roadshow yesterday muz have made it worse!

Stood there like an i***t.
I shan't call myself that. But I was hoping for something better.
Looks like I can never force myself to do something that I really don't like.
Then mindset and mentality has been there. And I guess it always will.

Hence, it was a wasted day yesterday. I would have been more productive in the office making my usual cold calls. I guess I'm better at that.
And roadshows no more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Till I can overcome myself. Which I don't think I ever will.

Alright. It just further affirms my decision that I don't like Roadshows! :/

So, I slept in till about 12plus. Mum dug me out of bed for lunch. So we went to the "chair" shop to get her daily dosage of the chair and so did I .
Whole body aching. So mum suggested having a go at it.. Okie.. Hope it does help to regulate my blood circulation and ease any aches that I had.

Came back after the doctor's and read "Body Language" By Allan and Barbara Pease.
Good and interesting book. Though certain "theories" I don't agree totally.
But it really did help alot in observing people and knowing what they are thinking.
Haha.. Interesting!
They had their 20% at Popular last year. Yes. Dec 2004.
I was too lazy to get a copy. Went to Popular earlier with Clara.
Met her for dinner. She was nice to accompany me for dinner and to go back for hers.
How nice. That's what I'll call a friend!
Be there for you when you need her! Heee. :)

So I showed her the notes for Anti-nomianism. She's from a Baptist Church and has rather traditional teachings. She always wears a skirt and believes that ALL females should be in skirts/dresses. Not in Jeans/pants. So..... I shan't comment much on that.

She agrees with what was said also. And lent her a sermon CD that I just bought. Why tongues?
They do not believe in tongues and feels that its an Old Testament thingy.

Anyway, they have strong religious beliefs on many issues. Hopefully the CD will change her mindset, which I strongly doubt so. Haha.
Just thought want to share with her anyway. It costs $16 okie... (*heartache*)
It was $9.90 last year. And clever me didn't want to spent that kind of money then.

So, now good loh.. spend extra for nothing!! Sigh...

And the Body Language also no more 20% liaoz.. hahha... clever me was too lazy to get it then... sigh...
So, if I ever were to find it, probably I will at the Popular at SPC.. so ulu.. nobody really goes there to finish all the books.. hahaha... I'll have to spend 20% extra again.. urgh....

Too much money huh...... sigh.....

Well well, something good to end off my day.
Checked out my commission statement earlier!
And its out! Yeah!!!
Bonus is out too!! Yeah!!!
Hahhaa.... can enjoy a big fat year liaoz... heheheheh... :)

Thank God for the Blessing!!!!
Hallelujah!!!! :D

-RacheL- blogged @ 1/06/2005 09:42:00 PM

Yaay!!
Had a good day today.
Rather busy. Dunno with what.
In office for meeting at 915am. Was late. Sms-ed Antonio.
Reached office at 915am. And Shanice asked if I called Antonio or sms-ed him.
Forgot to ask her how come she knows about it??!!? haha..
Ask her tmr.

Meeting was as usual. Fell asleep halfway through. Hahaha...
Left at about 11am. Had appt at 12pm at Clementi.
Took the train. Slept throughout from Paya Lebar to Clementi as well. So tired.
Met Mr Tay. Had lunch at coffeeshop. Treated him to 100plus. $1.30. Alright lah. Haha. :)

Closed his CPF-OA. Hee.. Though just a small case, I guess its still worth something. Hehe. At least its a good start, I feel. To have something to close on the 1st working day of 2005. It does feel good.
Back to office at about 2pm? Settled some admin. Made ONE call.
Talked to SL. Then printed my SOT form, filled it in. And don't know do what.

And then received sms that Hui Chern had given birth to dear Cheralynn at 1:55pm!! Praise the Lord! Both mum and baby are well.. hehehee.. :)

Supposed to go see her tonight. But she was in pain and needed to rest.. so we'll go see her tomorrow! Hehehehe... :)

So excited...BUT....

Mum also called and said that Grandma in a serious condition.
Dad rushed down liaoz... and I was in a dilemma..
Don't know to go or not. Dad said not that serious. Not that many people went also.
So mum said I can don't go.
So I didn't.

Had Usher gathering. Had dinner at Swenson's.
Went to Meridien Hotel play Pool. And it was 1030pm when we ended the evening.

Shared a cab back with Simon. Passed Bro Jon the SOT form again.
And reached home at about 11pm. Took a bath, and its 12:37am now!

How fast.
Going to accompany Mum for brain scan at TTSH tomorrow. Pray that its just her ear infection and no tumour!!!!
Amen!

-RacheL- blogged @ 1/04/2005 01:18:00 AM

Hahah.. Got up at about 1230pm?
Slept at about 330am last night k..
Mum called and asked if I wanted to go downstairs for lunch and to get new fans.
Yesh! Theirs is gone. And mine is theirs now! Haha!

So, I haven't been sleeping with a fan for the past few days.
Heh. But thank God for the good weather. With the windows left slightly ajar, I can actually sleep well. It feels just like sleeping in an air-conditioned room!
Hehe.. :p

I wouldn't have tolerated it otherwise! I'm so afraid of heat! I would have turned on the air-con! Keke..

But have been sleeping well. And I'm covered with my comforter k! Hee.. :)
So, after having lunch, came back read my book, and fell asleep!

Dad was reading the papers as well, and I think he went to sleep after a while.
Mum slept the moment she came back. Coz she haven't rested since she came back from work at 10am.
So, the whole family, (yes, there's only 3 of us!) slept till about 5plus.
I got up, found them all sleeping, had a bath, and woke mum up!
And we made our way to AMK, had dinner and went to Grandma's place.
She looked so pale.
She's really bloodless like that.
Mmmmmmm..... Mum said she has a big patch of infected flesh on her back.
Poor Grandma. Suffering like that. Can't walk. And can only lie there day by day.
Waiting for the day that God'll take away her suffering.
Why is her heart so hardened?
If only she's willing to accept Christ, I'm sure she'll have a much better after-life.... Sigh...
God, is it for me to do it?
So, we were there from about 7-930pm.
Came back, and here I am again.

Oh ya! Praise God that Amber is coming for service tomorrow.
She says that she just want to take a look.
I hope God'll open her heart and convict her.
Praying for her salvation.
God, use me to impact her life.
Change her heart, O Lord! :)

Amen! I pray that tomorrow be a better day of everyone's life!
Hallelujah! :D

-RacheL- blogged @ 1/01/2005 10:23:00 PM

Woah!
Its fast. Real Fast.
And I can't believe it.
2004's GONE...
And 2005's HERE!!!

A brand new year. A brand new beginning.
Will I really clean my room tomorrow?
Not really CLEAN... but to PACK.. and probably keep some of the stuffs in a box and chuck it in the storeroom.

Mmmm.. I doubt I'll really do it! haha..
Laziness at work!
keke.. :p

Well well, SOT's results still not out.
And I'm still wondering.
But I should be in!
haha... So.... I've still got business plan from now till Feb to hand in to SL.
On mon I think!
Opps!! Hee...

And after Feb, I would still want to have a plan for the rest of the year.
I wanna do MDRT this year!
Mmmmmmmm.............
Faith! I can move the mountain, I can do all things through Christ!!!
I know... Faith!! Standing and believing, I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Amen!

Alrite.
Now's 3:27am. Guess I'm not talking sense...
But 2005 will definitely be a greater year ahead for me!
Amen!!!!!! :)

-RacheL- blogged @ 1/01/2005 03:21:00 AM