I thought I was prepared and ready...
Because I had been given the honor to know about it in a way some weeeeksss back...
Even though I was prepared mentally... when reality sets in... it's totally a different thing...

I thought I was strong.. but perhaps not...
After making all the necessary calls to the necessary persons... I hung up.. and stared into space...
Having asked them many times.. "You okay with it ma??", I guess I was the one.. who wasn't really okay....
I mean... when i was done with the last person... I spoke to Darling...
and tears just welled up inside my eyes.. and before i know it... they were rolling uncontrollably down my pinky cheeks... I couldn't say anything at all... I was sobbing hard....
Sigh... I know... It's for a good cause... I know.... we're still together.... but....
There's just lots of 不舍得... 6 months I've spent with them... sowing into their lives...
Challenging them and motivating them to always do better.. learn and grow.... and now...
The Harvest is here... Time to reap... MMMm... yah.. but not for me... well.. not exactly...
It's for the good of the WHOLE section..
I must learn... to be less focused on just what belongs to me...
But to learn to look at the whole picture....
But.. the thought of sending out those dearest to me... really hurts...
I literally felt like... cutting my heart up and distributing it out....

But i know.. what I've taught.. will be put to better use... I can't keep them with me forever... they'll grow mouldy de... They need to go where they are needed... and fulfill greater plans and destiny God has in place for them!!

Yesh!! I'll continue to be a good nurturer... leader... where I'll continue to impact more lives.. train up more people!
Yesh!!
Thank You God, for using me.. and once again, for me to see that those who are dear to me.. are all capable of greater heights!!

Thanks Jie... for always believing in me.. and placing more responsibility into my hands...
I'll always do my best! :)
Yeah.. :)

-RacheL- blogged @ 9/07/2007 09:09:00 PM